Change

So. It’s been a week since the last day of PNWA Conference. I’ve had time to let things settle, to think a little more about what I learned and what it means to my life as a writer.

I think the single most important concept that I carried away with me is the reality of writing as a business, not just something I do in a corner of my house because I like to play with words and characters and stories. It’s not like this is a sudden bolt of lightning from out of the blue – I’ve understood for a long time that publishing requires marketing efforts on the part of the author. But I had sort of compartmentalized the two things in my mind. First, write a good book. Second, find a good agent. And then – something, something, something. The All Knowing Agent would surely help and guide me.

Life doesn’t work that way. If something is important to you, if you want something done, nobody is going to figure it out for you. You can get help, but in the end you have to do it for yourself.

Maybe you are all more grown up than me, and learned this lesson years ago. Me? It’s not that I haven’t learned it, it’s that somehow it doesn’t stay learned. I should know better.

The first time it really sank in was after my husband died suddenly, leaving me with two kids, a job, an unfinished master’s degree and absolutely no understanding of our financial situation. I’m hopeless at numbers, he was good at them, and he had always taken care of the bills. It was an equitable arrangement. It worked. At least it worked until he was suddenly and dramatically NOT THERE. My beloved big brother and a friend stepped in, went through everything, and explained it all to me. They explained it clearly and concisely. And then they went back to their lives and I ran into one of those brick walls reality likes to set in our paths every now and then: I Am Responsible. I’m the one who needs to take care of this, I’m the one who needs to understand it. The way I live must now change not just once a month when the bills are paid, but daily. And, as it turns out, numbers aren’t my thing but I can manage just fine.

And now I am learning that lesson all over again with publishing. Planning my writing career is my responsibility. It’s part of everything – part of the writing, part of my social networking, part of who I am as a writer.

Change strikes again.

I’ve already taken steps. If you follow me on Twitter, you’ll notice that I no longer identify myself as Uppington. This is sad for me. I’ve had a great deal of fun being Uppington. I hide behind her, let her be my public face. But, if I truly want my name known and recognized in the publishing industry, if I’m striving toward getting a book on the shelves with my name on it, I need to be known – as me.

Yesterday I registered a domain name and began planning an author website. That is going to take awhile, and in the meantime I’ll be here. But when the day comes to make that change, you’ll find me not as Uppington, but as Kerry Schafer. Writer. And business woman.

What Does Success Mean to You?

“I write for the page. “  Don DeLillo

The Keynote Speaker at Write on the River was Jess Walter, a brilliant author who grew up in the smallish city of Spokane, Washington.

From his website:  “Jess Walter is the author of four novels – THE ZERO, a finalist for the 2006 National Book Award, the 2007 PEN Center Literary Award and the 2007 LA Times Book Prize and winner of the 2007 Pacific Northwest Booksellers Award, CITIZEN VINCE, winner of the 2005 Edgar Award for best novel, LAND OF THE BLIND and OVER TUMBLED GRAVES, a 2001 New York Times notable book – as well as the nonfiction book EVERY KNEE SHALL BOW (rereleased as RUBY RIDGE), a finalist for the PEN Center West literary nonfiction award in 1996.” 

To be totally honest, I hadn’t read Walter’s work and only picked up a copy of The Zero because he was going to be a speaker at the conference and I was curious.  One page, and I was in love.  This man writes brilliantly, and he is also an entertaining and inspirational speaker.  I couldn’t begin to share all of that inspiration with you, but I offer the parts that have stuck with me for good.

On important concept was this:  What is your own measure of success?  If you’re looking for fame, go be a movie star.  If you’re looking for money, you’re in the wrong profession – 80% of published authors make $15K or less, per year.  As he said, “No one succeeds in publishing – you only persevere.”

Walter’s definition of personal success?  When he can look at a page and say, “It is beautiful, it is artful, it makes the world bearable.”

I was moved by this.  Profoundly.  My own measure of success, as I thought about it, is not being published or finding an agent.  When I write something that moves somebody – to laughter, or tears, or anger – that’s where it is at for me. 

 Walter also offered the following rules for writing:  

1. Revel in the work
2. Sweat the sentences
3. When you finish something, really celebrate
4. Take joy in the small victories
5. Trust your instincts
6. Be nicer to yourself
7. Keep in mind your story of how you came to be a writer.

And that, in a nutshell, is it.  What about you?  My challenge for the day:  Determine for yourself, what is the measure of your success?  And, if you haven’t already, buy a Jess Walter book – you won’t regret it.

The Road Not Taken

“You enter the forest at the darkest point, where there is no path. Where there is a way or a path, it is someone else’s path. You are not on your own path. If you follow someone else’s way, you are not going to realize your potential.” ~ Joseph Campbell from A Joseph Campbell Companion

This is my life lesson for the week: to accept the path I’m on, which appears to be winding aimlessly through the thick of the forest, where lions and tigers and bears abound.  Oh my!  I must not waste time and valuable energy wishing I were on somebody else’s path.  This is not so easy.  There are a number of other paths that appeal to me just now:

1.  The Traveler Path: On Facebook, I’ve been watching friends who are cavorting on beaches in Hawaii, or traveling in various and sundry other warm climates.  They appear light hearted and frolicsome, unworried about finances, certainly not suffering pangs of guilt about the writing they are not doing while they lie on the beach.

2.  The About to be Published Path: You know who you are!  Not to mention any names, but Silver James and Gary Corby, are definitely on their way! And my already published friend Trudy has recently had yet another book accepted by a publisher. 

3.  The Attracting A Lot of Attention From Agents Path:  Em, I see you over there! 

4.  The Choose a Plan and Stick With it Path:  The master of this one would be Ken Kiser

I’m not even going to talk about the already published and hugely successful: that is a path best left unconsidered, if I value my serenity.  Now, if I’ve mentioned your name, I’m not jealous of you.  Really I’m not.  I’m delighted at your success.  And there is a lot of pleasant scenery and adventure on the path I’m traveling, so all is good.  Really.

The lady doth protest too much methinks.  

Okay, so I’m just a teensy tiny bit envious, but not in a bad way, or a mean spirited way.  It’s really more my competitive streak popping up, spurring me on.  Which in itself might be a bad thing.  I’m realizing that Swimming North cannot be rushed.  And shouldn’t be.  I just need to hang out with it for awhile, thus the meandering path.  I can, however, work as fast as I want on re-typing the YA Fantasy, so my plan, at least for today, is to put the energy that wants to get something done onto the Fantasy novel,  and not rush the novel that doesn’t want to be rushed.  And, of course, to consider the frightening plunge of tearing apart Remember one last time for another structural revision.

To all of you out there, no matter what path you are on, may your muse be kindly and the words come easy.

Inspiration

I begin this week inspired, energized, and full of faith.  If you’ve been following my Blog at all, you know how quickly that’s likely to fall apart, but I’m enjoying the feeling while it’s with me.

On Saturday, I began the day with an ‘unreasonable goal’, an idea garnered from the Deadline Dames :  5K, newly written and/or revised on the rewrite of Swimming North.   I really had no intention of succeeding, got on a roll and closed down the computer at just 300 words short at the end of the day.  Since then, the novel has been flowing smoothly, and I even know where I’m going with the plot at this point.   Amazing.

I also have a list of 5 new Agents on whom to inflict a query letter.

I’ve also been playing around on twitter – (you can find me there as Uppington, surprise, surprise) and have learned a lot from just skulking around and reading people’s posts.  As part of my personal Feeling Inspired Day, I’m going to share a couple of links with you, both from Jonbard of Write4Kids.com:

Here you will find a list of well known authors and their experiences with rejection.  And here you will find a wonderful blog post about what the writing is all about.

Enjoy!  Happy writing, if that is what you do, and for the other, normal people reading along, good luck with whatever goals you have set for yourselves.