“Most people are settling for less than their potential, for less strength, energy and vitality than they both can have and deserve. To accept life anywhere below our fullest potential is to be living in the gap, blindly accepting “what is” without ever deeply considering “what could be.” ~ Shawn Phillips
The paradox continues. Is it possible to live a mindful life, accepting the current reality with grace, while simultaneously setting goals to change that reality and strive for something different? Where is the balance point between pursuing your potential and living in the present moment, with its griefs and joys and challenges?
On the one hand, I want to to “be a bold participant rather than a timid saint in waiting, in the difficult ordinariness of now” (Ted Loder). At the same time, Tennyson’s poem Ulysses has always been like a battle cry to me:
“…yet all experience is an arch wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades for ever and for ever when I move.”
And even though that untravelled world draws me, I have come to accept that there is no possible way I will live long enough to experience everything I want to experience, to accomplish all that I desire to do. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to settle for a humdrum existence. Tennyson again: “as though to breathe were life! Life piled on life were all too little…”
When I do not challenge myself, when I settle, I become flat and life tastes stale, insipid. Despair begins to lurk. The less I do, the more I rest, the less energy I have and the less I want to do. When I set challenges for myself, even when I do not reach them, still I have more energy, more focus, both for the task at hand and for the rest of my life. All reality sharper and clearer, with the pain greater maybe, but there is also greater joy.
And maybe that is an answer in itself. In Tennyson’s poem, the aging Ulysses gathers up all of his old travel companions, and they set sail once more, determined to pursue adventure until the day they die. It’s the journey that matters. Writing a book is an epic adventure in itself. Seeking publication is another. All of it tied in with the rest of life, with the joys and the griefs, all of the events, little and big, of the reality we are moving through.
Life as a quest. I like that. When knights ventured out on quests, there was no guarantee they were going to find what they were looking for. The idea was to pursue the goal as long as your were able, to conduct yourself with honor, to fight to your very last breath, and never, ever, turn aside. Which, fellow writers, should be our quest as well: to write the stories that are given to us to the best of our capacity, and to fight the battle of seeking publication. We can’t all be Lancelot. It doesn’t matter. All that was asked of the lowliest knight was to conduct himself with honor and fight to the death.
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March 15, 2009 at 8:57 am
Silver James
One can live in the middle–a dull, humdrum existence that is safe. Or one can live large, embracing all that life has to offer. This involves risk, though. You have to risk your heart and your soul. But I have discovered that despair and sadness are simply the other side of the coin for hopefulness and joy. To truly experience the heights, you have to be familiar with the depths.
When I come to the end of my days, I want to look back and proudly proclaim, “I lived large!”
March 15, 2009 at 9:25 am
uppington
The thing is, though, that safety is only an illusion. Even if you do ‘play it safe’ things can break through and get you. So you might as well take the risks and have the exhilaration.
March 15, 2009 at 9:46 am
Digital Dame
I call “bullshit” on the idea of simply accepting one’s lot in life. If everyone did that, we wouldn’t have refrigerators. Or martinis. Or democracy. The world has never been a safe place. We can’t do everything we ever dream of in one short life, but like you when I try to accept things and just take what life has handed me I can get very depressed (the low energy, loss of interest in doing anything). I think the idea of gracefully accepting current reality has done a lot of damage to people. We can’t change everything we don’t like, but like the lottery tag line says: You can’t win if you don’t play.
March 15, 2009 at 10:36 am
uppington
DD – maybe it just boils down to the good old Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
March 15, 2009 at 11:52 am
Digital Dame
Absolutely, we have to pick our battles, or sometimes accept a situation temporarily. But I’m always scanning the horizon for the sign to charge. Everything is temporary, including a new, untenable situation at work. I’m going to try to tough it out, for now, because I know how quickly things change in my office.
March 15, 2009 at 12:56 pm
gypsyscarlett
I love the serenity prayer. It’s so beautiful and very true.
I have to admit, this really has never been an issue for me. I believe it’s important to appreciate what one has in life. I am one of those, “stop and smell the roses”- people. Literally. 🙂
But, at the same time, I also dream. And work for the future. I always want to learn, to grow, to experience.
I don’t think that wanting more necessarily means one is not appreciative or accepting of what one has at that particular moment. Right now, I live in a tiny, tiny apt. I’m grateful for having a roof over my head and heat. But one day I do want a bigger apt with more closet space. 🙂
March 16, 2009 at 5:28 am
uppington
DD – sorry about the work thing. Untenable situations are, well, untenable. I hope things change soon for you.
March 16, 2009 at 10:42 am
Digital Dame
I think it’s like that ancient Chinese curse: May you live in interesting times.
Things are about to get REAL interesting around here.
March 16, 2009 at 4:41 pm
uppington
I often think somebody has applied that curse to me, lol. On the whole, though, I’d prefer it to a life of total boredom. I needs my adrenaline rush from time to time. Hope you survived your day.
March 16, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Peter
Very thought provoking post.. I really enjoyed reading it. I too agree that the journey is every bit as important as the destination; in fact, I’m sure that’s where our learning truly happens.
That one thing I found a bit sad is your comment that you may not experience everything you want to. Maybe..maybe not.. but just don’t admit defeat to quickly. I know that we all have a limited time on this earth.. but I’m not willing to admit yet that I won’t do everything I want to.. In the end perhaps I’ll end up like Ulysses.. sailing off for the final adventure that lasts into eternity.. At least I’m going to keep trying…
and I’m sure you will too.. 🙂
March 16, 2009 at 5:21 pm
uppington
Peter, it’s not defeat, but sheer logic, lol. It’s not like I’m going to quit trying, but here’s the deal. I’m 45. I want to learn about 4 more languages, collect another couple of university degrees, travel to a lot of different places, publish novels, teach writing at the University Level, have a private counseling practice, read several thousand books, take drawing and painting lessons, get back to playing the piano… well, the list is long. Time and money are realities. Some of these things will probably happen. All of them? Not likely.
March 17, 2009 at 12:14 am
gypsyscarlett
Hey Uppington,
I’ve awarded you with the Proximidade Award 🙂
March 17, 2009 at 5:29 am
uppington
@Tasha – um, thank you? I have no idea what this is, but award has a cool ring to it! Stopping by your site right now.