Still here.  Still writing.  As if I could ever truly give up the habit. I’ve tried, once or twice in my life, and it never worked out well. For now, external pressures have eased a little, given me a little time to be and think and create.  

Much of my recent angst is directly related to the nature of the novel I’m currently trying to rewrite.  Swimming North moves in and out of alternate realities.  It shifts through time.  It deals with concepts that I understand intuitively, but every time I try to grasp them intellectually my brain always slips away into confusion.  I’ve always had a sense that this book could really BE something – if somebody else was writing it.  I feel a little bit like Moses when Yaweh met him at the burning bush and gave him the Directive.  Moses’ response?  Send somebody else, I’m just really not capable of this.  I believe the actual quote is “I’m slow of speech.”  That’s me.  Slow of Speech.

Unfortunately, the idea came to me, and not to somebody more qualified to write it.  As one of the characters in The Mirror of her Dreams says, “I’ve always believed that problems should be solved by the one who sees them.”  This may not be an exact quote, but it’s close enough to get on with.

I’ve been driven to an Outline.  Now for many of you writers out there, this would be a given.  “So?”  You say.  “I outline everything.”

I personally hate Outlines.  Always have.  When I do get pushed into using them, it’s usually in a situation such as this: I’m just not capable of keeping the whole mess straight in my head.

Most of the book is already written, it’s a question of what goes where, what has already happened and what hasn’t.  Thanks to the outline, the book as it stands in my head has moved from total chaos to a cautious “Oh, I think I get it.”

So.  Moving on.  Meeting the weekend challenge and with renewed hope of finishing the damned thing some day.  Hey, one page a day and I’d be done in a year, right?  Patience is not one of my virtues.

Thanks for all of the support from those of you who dropped me comments.  I’m sending positive writing energy out to you all.  Keep at it!

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