Okay, first things first:  Nanowrimo Word Count, Day Five, 9551.  

My lesson for the day is Acceptance.  Acceptance is one of the principles of Mindfulness, a philosophy of living that I embrace enough to be able to accept that I generally suck at accepting things.  Now I’ve been through Acceptance Boot Camp in the past – the sort of life lessons that are truly life and death, that require a complete restructure of your faith, your life, and your philosophy.  The sort of life experiences that go bone deep, strip you down to your soul, and dare you to rebuild.  You’d think, after learning to accept in those situations, I’d be good at it by now.

Not so much. 

This week I had three days off.  Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, right smack dab in the middle of the week. Wonderful, I thought, as I was considering Nanowrimo.  Three days during that first week alone at home, three days in which to pile on the words, to luxuriate in the new idea brewing in my head, to feel writerly and totally focused on writing with no distractions.

And the universe laughed.  

The disillusionment began with one of the teen persons living in my house announcing that there were parent teacher conferences and they didn’t have school on two of those three days. The other teen person then announced that this same phenomenon was true for them as well.  I was struck with dismay.  Teen age people home during the day means noise and constant raids on the refrigerator, and mess, and endless driving from here to there and back again.  I felt guilt over feeling dismay.

Canadian relatives called and declared they would be passing through town.  An old friend called up and wanted to have lunch.  David looked at my empty calendar and reminded me that we really needed to get tires on the TPV (Teen Person Vehicle) before the snow hits.  The free range beef I’d ordered weeks ago was butchered and packaged and ready to be picked up.  My vehicle needed an oil change.

I did not Accept.  I threw little tantrums.  I resented.  I fumed.  I threw big tantrums.

I wrote anyway, around and between the distractions the way I always do.  And really, who is to say which ideas were planted by the unplanned encounters with tire salesmen and butchers and the driving around in the rain?  Sure, the last couple of days have not been what I planned, but then things so seldom are.  The story I’m writing is not what I planned.  And I am in love with it.

I’m thankful that I chose to do Nanowrimo again this year, in spite of all my reservations.  I was stuck in the Gatekeeper novel – we’d developed almost an adversarial position toward each other, the book and I.  This novel, so far, wants to be written.  The characters want voices.  They have energy and life, and in spite of my best intentions to avoid taking this novel seriously, I’m afraid that I’ve been hooked.

And so, sitting here tonight by the fire, in spite of the fact that I had very little writing time today, in spite of the fact that things did not go as I wanted them to, I accept that all things are as they are meant to be, for me, today.

Tomorrow?  Well, the kids are back to school tomorrow, and nothing is scheduled yet, but let’s not push the envelope.

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