Well, writers – how is it going on this 3rd day of November? Are we still using the the Nanowrimo energy and enthusiasm to launch us to greater literary efforts?

Do you want to know how many words I’ve written on the WIP today?  Zero. Yep, that’s what I said. Zip. Zilch. Nada. There is a tiny and tenacious piece of me attempting to change this, but I think it’s a losing battle. I’m sitting in front of a warm fire with a drowsing cat beside me, and it’s been a long day.

Hey, it’s not like I have to write 50,000 words this month, or anything. All I need to do is continue revising the never ending novel. Right?

Yawn.

Better Self: Come on, it’s only 7:30. Buck up. Move to your desk. Make some coffee.

Lazy Self: Give me a break. I’m tired. It was an emotionally difficult work day. I think what I need is a drink. Then a nap.

Better Self: You’re lazy. If you never write on difficult work days, you will never write.

Lazy Self: Sleep would be good for me. The time change messed me up. And I’ll write on Friday – I’m off on Friday.

Better Self: Friday is Query Party day, in case you’d forgotten.

Lazy Self: Oh, shit.  Fine. You win. But you make the coffee.

So there you have it. I am being dragged off against my will, away from the fire and the oh-so-comfortable-cat, into the murk of the WIP.

How goes the writing for the rest of you? Speak up – your comments give me good excuses to stray from my writing tasks.

Dear Writer:

You are officially invited to my Query Party.

What is a Query Party, you ask?

Well, a Query Party is an opportunity to replace the idea of querying as an onerous task with – yes, you guessed it – a PARTY!

Anybody want to play? Come on, you know you do…

There are several advantages:

1. You get lots of query letters out there. After all, industry advice is to ‘query widely,’ and the more good queries you send, the more likely you are to connect with your special agent.

DISCLAIMER: Before any stray agents come by my house to perform a drive by shooting, let me clarify. Querying widely does not mean sending out blanket queries to every agent you can find. It does not mean sending one email query with 300 agents CC’d, addressed to “Hey You,” or even “Dear Agent.” It does mean researching agents to make sure they are a good potential fit for what you are sending, and making sure you have a professional letter to send.

2. You get to feel virtuous about having done something to promote your work and get it published. And eat lots of candy. Don’t forget that, because it’s important. Buy your favorite snacks. Lay in a supply of good music. This is a fun day. Indulge yourself. (Just save the alcoholic beverages for later. Drunk querying is not recommended.)

3. You beat the post-November onslaught of crazed Nanowrimo completers who will flood agent slush piles in December with ill written queries. We do not want to query stressed and grumpy agents. If we could, we would provide rainbows and bluebirds and perfect chocolate to every agent who is about to read our queries. Some of you may have these magic powers. I do not. In their absence, I will try to query wisely.

DISCLAIMER: I’m not talking about responsible authors getting writing done with Nano. I love Nanowrimo. I’m talking about the idiots who apparently complete the rough draft and throw it in the mail without the re-reading, proofreading, beta reading and editing that are always necessary before moving to submission.

THE DETAILS:

Where: Why, wherever you choose to be. At home, at work, at the library or the coffee shop.

When:   Friday, November 6. Begin at 6 am, and stop at 6 pm.

Stop in here anytime during the day to report progress, ask questions, seek support or share candy.  If you’re on twitter, by all means hang out all day. You’ll find me there as @uppington.  Look for the hashtag #queryparty.

And that’s all folks. I hope you’ll join me. Now it is time to get back to my turtle paced revisions.

Last night, feeling nostalgic and a little sad about my decision to stay out of Nanowrimo, I sat down at the computer with the intent to recreate some of the fun. It wasn’t midnight yet, but hey – if I’m outside of Nanowrimo, then I’m also beyond the rules, right?

I pulled up the scene that has been kicking my ass all week, cued up a whole new soundtrack (Opeth – Ghost Reveries) and plunged into the scene in my best Nanowrimo style. For me, this means shutting off the brain and letting the fingers do what they wish.

What happened was one of those writing experiences where I end up staring at what I’ve done and asking, “Where the hell did that come from?” Seriously. I’m vaguely alarmed at some of the implications. And now that I have allowed this thing to happen, since I’m not on a month long ride of “write it as it comes and make sense of it later,” I must make some editorial decisions by the cold light of this November morning. After all, this is a rewrite, not a brand new WIP, and this material has a responsibility to play nice with the rest of the book.

I’m thankful that the apathy of the last week has dispersed, at least. There is life in this scene now, and more raw energy than I know how to contain. This has to be a good thing.

Today? I am busy mulling the ramifications and tentacles, and debating whether or not to cut a couple of scenes. I will carve out a couple of hours to give this careful consideration, and to play with the possibilities. I’m not committing to word count, or even to completing this scene or chapter, or to editing a certain number of pages. I am committing to give this novel the best that I have to offer in terms of skill and dedication.

How is the writing in everybody else’s world? Nanowrimo people – how is the first day treating you? If you are a writer who is not engaged in Nanowrimo, for whatever reason – what are your goals for this month? Let’s use the November energy to carry us all to a new level. And hey – if you’re on Twitter, use the hashtag #nononano to check in with others who are not playing this year.

It’s official. I am sticking with my resolution to stay out of the Nanowrimo Amusement Park this year.

This saddens me. I feel like a kid on the wrong side of the fence, watching the other kids buying cotton candy and lining up for the roller coaster. But, I am determined to be a responsible writer and stay with my WIP. This is the right decision, I know it is, but it’s a difficult one. I love Swimming North, but it is at the Hard Work Stage. Everything about it is difficult. All of those little plot problems and character inconsistencies about which I waved my hand dismissively with promises to “fix it later,” are now lined up in battle formation, ready to kick my procrastinating ass.

Surrender is tempting.

I imagine waving a white flag and declaring myself beaten:

The story is too big for me. The surreal is too surreal. The writing is inadequate. Nobody will care enough about the characters. Give up. Walk away. Try again with another book and see if you can do better.

But I am not wired for surrender. Too much of Grandpa George, my formidable Norwegian ancestor, flows through my veins. No matter how great the odds – in the face of adversity I cling with claws and teeth to a goal and carry on.

Now that I’ve cleared that piece of over written drama from my brain, let me get back to my original purpose for this blog post.

Anybody else taking a pass on Nanowrimo this year? Misery loves company. Or better yet, let’s have a Non-Nanowrimo Party Month. Declare yourself if you have a goal to complete, or if you just want to hang out while watching the fun go by.

Me? Why yes, I have a goal. I plan to be ready to query this novel by the end of the month. Take that, novel! I have a keyboard, and I mean to use it.

Flying Monkeys? Yep, I’ve got ‘em. I never for a moment anticipated their arrival in my novel in progress; didn’t prepare with some sort of ‘Monkey Be Gone’ powder, or set flying monkey traps to contain the evil little beggars.  They have fangs and talons and batlike wings, and they are here to stay.

If I chose, I could call in an exterminator. My internal editor is good at that sort of thing. I’m pretty sure, given the go ahead, she could eliminate those monkeys and create order out of chaos before I could type another page worth of words.

But here’s the thing: somebody invited those monkeys, and it wasn’t me.  One of the characters in this tale has taken on enough life of her own to say, “Hey, I need flying monkeys” and call them into existence. Who am I to argue with this? Looking back, I realize that I did not invite the dragons either. In fact, if I’m being strictly honest with myself, most of this book was not my idea.

I am a listener. Not always a good one, but I think that is really my job. Not to try to shape the story, but to allow it to shape itself. To let the ideas and the voices in my head come alive on the page,  give them words in which they can live and move and have their being.

Once the characters have manifested myself, then it’s my job to say to Character A – “I think you need to meet Character B.” From there it may be love at first sight or open warfare, but that is not my decision. If the characters have been allowed to become self determining, they will have definite opinions about each other, and will insist on taking action. They create messes and clean them up.

Okay, I admit that I occasionally throw stink bombs in their direction to see what they will do. But even those nasty little surprises often come from somewhere outside of myself. Call it the subconscious, call it what you will. I know myself: my every day brain just isn’t that creative. Every now and then I’ll write something, and when I read it ask myself, “now where in the hell did that come from?”

I may never know. But I do know that this is one of the reasons why I continue to write. I love the way the surprises create themselves on the page: the character flaw I never knew about, the plot twist that I never saw coming, the dagger that appears spontaneously on page 100 and becomes centrally important to my character’s survival on page 256. And yes, the flying monkeys called into being at the end of the 4th draft.

For those of you who are plotters and planners – is it the same process for you, only in a different way or do you have better eyes and ears and catch all this before you start writing?

I’m curled up on the couch in front of the fire this morning.  When I glance up, I see the orange flames first, and then the big picture window complete with a vase of rust colored chrysanthemums and a calico cat. She’s looking out into a mostly dark world, just  light enough for trees to loom in the mist. If I glance to my left, through the sliding door I see the outside cat looking in, his backdrop the rain wet yard, a cast iron dinner bell, and more mist shrouded trees. Each wants what the other has – in or out -

A teen age boy slouches at the table inhaling left over turkey and mashed potatoes before running off to meet the bus. He will be late, will scramble at the last moment, but for now he is completely present. Content with his lot in life, absorbed in a favorite food.

No work for me today, at least of the paid variety. There will be household chores and things that need to be done. But no need to rush around this morning getting ready for the day.

Which means no excuses for not writing, and I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

Recently, I read an opinion that writer’s block is nothing more than fear. I suspect, in this case at least, that this is true. Revisions loom. I don’t usually get blocked on a first draft, because I expect it to be flawed and in need of further work.  It’s this process of deciding what stays, what goes, what to tell or not tell, that frightens me.

I fear my own ability to over revise, to over think. To take something that works, even though it is imperfect, and polish it into something lifeless and bland. Or alternatively to over do it, make it too big, too complex and overdone.

It occurs to me that I may be taking my writing too seriously. This book is not a matter of life and death.  I love it, but it is only one of many that I will write in my life.

It is what it is. And that is the trick, really: to accept it for what it is, and not try to make it something else.

Today I will be exploring possible alternatives, deepening characters, playing with motivations. And the good news is that writing is a little more flexible than making soup.  Extraneous words or ideas can be removed, unlike too much salt. Thanks to a backed up copy, it’s easy to retreat to a former version if an experiment doesn’t work.

That said, there are no excuses. Into the story I go, hopefully to emerge with some work well done at the end of the day. If not, I will at least have discovered several things that do not work. I’d prefer to venture into this maze with inspiration and enthusiasm, but I’ll settle for determination. Butt in chair, fingers on keys.

Yes, it is that time again. Time to take stock of where I am in my writing life, and where I am going. I would prefer to just keep on writing and believe that somehow, magically, one of my books will be published. The fantasy goes something like this:

I’m sitting outside on a sunny afternoon with a cup of coffee, writing away on the newest manuscript. The words are flowing freely, the characters are brilliant and witty, and I’m completely immersed in the creative process.

My phone rings.  I do not leap out of my chair and spill coffee all over my laptop because I am not on call, and have learned to accept a ringing phone as a harbinger of human relationships and maybe even good news, rather than a signal of disaster. I answer the phone, and a pleasant and professional voice inquires,”Is this Uppington Smythe?”

“Why yes, can I help you?”

“Ms. Smythe, this is Agent X – of Prestigious Literary Agency Y. I stumbled across your manuscript this morning – pardon me? Oh, no – you didn’t send it to me. I believe that a friend of a friend of yours, who happens to be my identical twin sister,  was so impressed by it that they brought it in and urged me to read. I dropped everything and fell instantly in love.”

“I’m – speechless, Agent X.”

“I believe your book can be a bestseller. I am prepared to offer you a contract, right this moment. In fact, I have a publisher standing by with a lucrative advance in hand.”

Yeah. In my defense, I’ve been working on Swimming North, which involves surreal reality shifts. But I am not demonstrably insane, and I know it will never go down this way. When I find an agent, when I get published, it will be because I worked hard at perfecting my craft AND paid attention to the business of publishing. I wish that the writing were enough, but I know that it’s not.

And so. What are the next steps I need to take?

1. Query widely. Yep. It’s about time to send out more queries on Filling in the Blanks.  Every agent from the last mailing who is going to respond has probably already done so. Sadly, the blank spaces on my tracking sheet that indicate ‘no response’ should probably be interpreted as ‘NO.’
2. Finish Next WIP. I’m actually on this one. Swimming North is undergoing the scrutiny of my beta readers as we speak. As soon as the critiques roll in, it’s back to revisions and edits (hopefully the final draft).  While I’m waiting, I’m running edits on my first novel ever, a YA Fantasy, which has been dust gathering for several years. When I brushed it off, I decided it deserves a shot at the spotlight. There is a problem though – when I set out to write it I was oblivious of the publishing industry and just wrote a book. What I now have is a YA fantasy of about 95,000 words. Yeah. I’m paring it down as much as I can, and I will query it, but I know it’s likely to get turned down sight unseen due to length. The good news it – I am capable of learning. I now know better than this. If I write another YA Fantasy, it will be shorter.
3. Write Queries and Synopses. While I am working on revisions and edits, I will also be working on queries and synopses for both Swimming North and Losaria. This way, as soon as the manuscripts are polished and ready to go, I can begin accumulating rejection letters on three novels at once.  Because I believe that with every new novel I write, and every new rejection letter I receive, I am that much closer to YES.

As always, I’m interested in every body else’s progress toward goals. Where are you at, and where are you going?

Writing can be hard work.

Okay, I admit that I  have a well developed ability  to state the obvious, which I have just employed.  We all know that writing can be hard work. But, I dare to suggest, not nearly as hard as we sometimes make it.

Anybody ever hear about self talk? If you’ve ever been within 20 feet of a mental health therapist, I’m willing to bet you have. We all engage in self talk. Those little pep talks you give yourself in the mirror before heading out to do something, the talking-to in the car after you’ve really embarrassed yourself at work or lost it with your kids -that’s self talk.  Most of us also have an endless sound track that runs inside our heads, usually turned on low volume so that it’s not easily heard above the noise of daily living.  And there it hums along like an unseen virus, shedding a constant litany of our failures and short comings into our subconscious.

The symptoms are discouragement, depression, and a certain difficulty in getting anything done.  It makes itself known through little words and phrases, the way we look at the world.

I hear a lot of it from writers – on blogs, on Twitter, in person.

I only wrote 1000 words today, I should have written more.  I should have seen this plot problem coming. I should have plotted more thoroughly, I should have foreseen this conflict, I should have created a more believable character, I should be a better writer.

Sound familiar?

Of course, you never have these thoughts. You are a completely well adjusted writer and human being, able to accept your strengths and your weaknesses with complete equanimity.

I, on the other hand, and I suspect a few others, do have a bit of a problem with beating ourselves up.

There are cures for this sort of thing. I’m not about to offer an exhaustive list, but here are a couple of things to consider:

1. Really, really berate yourself. Every time you notice a negative thought about yourself and your abilities flitting through your brain, tell yourself how stupid, inept, and hopeless you are. Slap yourself upside the head.  But a cattle prod, and deliver an electric shock to your back side.  (Note: this is sarcasm. Do not try this at home. It will harm you and your ability to write the Great American Novel.)

2. Try a daily affirmation. Write it daily in your journal. Something like, “I am writing to the best of my ability. Every word I put on paper makes me a better writer, and leads me closer to my goal.”

3. When you catch yourself in one of those negative thoughts, note it, and then calmly rephrase. It is not helpful to launch into a diatribe of I am so stupid I can’t even stop having negative thoughts.

4. Try some guided imagery – you can buy awesome CDs online that will talk you through relaxation and positive affirmations. One of my favorite websites for buying this sort of thing is Health Journeys, where you might consider this wonderful program by Bellaruth Naparstek.

5. If you notice that your negative self talk is pervasive and severe and is keeping you from doing the things you want to do, consider finding yourself a compatible therapist or life coach. Sometimes we need a little help to change a thought pattern that was years in the making.

It’s hard enough to battle plot problems, unruly characters, and recalcitrant words, without having to fight yourself at the same time. All of those shoulds make it harder than it needs to be to put Butt in Chair, Fingers on Keys, and get on with the business of getting words on paper.

Now, I don’t want to hear anybody saying, “I guess maybe I should try that.” The should word is evil, evil I tell you! Here’s my personal little trick, which has been turned back on me by my friends on several occasions.  When you hear yourself saying or thinking the word SHOULD come to a complete stop. Then substitute one of the following:

a) choose to

b) choose not to

It’s really that simple. I SHOULD go write for awhile, becomes “I choose to go write for awhile,” or the equally valid, “I choose not to go write for awhile.”

Get it? Good. I need to get going – I choose to write for awhile before bed.

First things first. I am happy to report that I have finished this draft of Swimming North. Surreal it is, and always will be, but it has a coherent plot line and all of the arcs and character developments and all those other bits and pieces of structure are accounted for and occupying the appropriate positions. I think.

But did I plot it or pants it?

Now there is the million dollar question, to which I just discovered an unexpected answer.

My initial response would have been “No, I just sat down and wrote it.” Now this is true, but only partially. The real truth is, I just sat down and wrote the first draft. And then I looked at that, poked at it with a stick to see if there were signs of life, showed it to a couple of people and made some changes.

This resulted in yet another draft, which went through much the same process. This time I actually wrote an outline. Now to those of you who actually outline, this would not look like an outline at all. More like a brief grocery list of the preferred order of things, jotted down on a sticky note which I promptly lost.  I spent a lot of time mulling various options for tightening the story arc. I cut an entire segment, and even made a thoughtful decision about changing tense during certain scenes for a specific reason. Characters got developed. Every scene had to prove its right to live or face the firing squad.

Far from random, but equally far from some orderly, structured approach.

If I had to join one side or the other of the plotting debate, I’d still have to call myself a pantzer. But the point is this:  I do plot and structure and plan, but I tend to do this the way I navigate my job and my life: by thinking fast on my feet and reassessing as I go along.  The first draft – which is rough, short, and written very fast, is actually my outline. Which then gets fleshed out, tweaked and tightened.

I’ve been wondering, of late, how much my personality type influences my writing style. I’m a INFP, for those of you who are familiar with the Myers-Briggs temperament types. And my writing style is consistent with this. Decisions are often made on what “feels” right. I hate to make decision, or close out possibilities.

What about the rest of you? Is your writing style consistent with the way you live the rest of your life? And, if you happen to know your temperament type, (either Meyers-Briggs or Keirsey-Werner) that is a piece of info that I’d find particularly interesting. You can take the Keirsey-Werner sorter here. The site will then try to get you to buy a full report, but it will give you some information free.

Announcement:

Regularly scheduled blog post has been interrupted by actual writing activity. Swimming North is swimming right along. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and am convinced that for once it isn’t a train.

Odd, I know, but the idea of actually completing this draft appeals to me. As I’m in the middle of yet another weekend on call, I need all of the writing time I can get, and today the WIP wins.

With baited breath and fingers crossed, and every other writerly cliche I can think of, I’m off to write for the finish.